2016 won't turn over or jump

Hello - please excuse the lack of even basic savvy here, maybe - but the car won't turn over. Ignition key in and switch to start position - all checks run through and come back with error, all warning lights on, trip and mileage indicator just showing - - - - - - - - . best of all, windscreen wipers attempting to work, (they are not 'on' position, either) agonisingly slowly and won't stop trying, until battery is disconnected. Tried a jump start but seems no power getting through - the faults don't change and the dashboard display is weak and intermittent. I'll almost be glad if it's just a new battery needed but I don't have a tester or such-like. Any ideas gratefully received. Cheers and Happy New Year. Has been perfect up until the cold snap, btw

Clarion wrote: ↑Wed Dec 30, 2020 4:26 pm Hello - please excuse the lack of even basic savvy here, maybe - but the car won't turn over. Ignition key in and switch to start position - all checks run through and come back with error, all warning lights on, trip and mileage indicator just showing - - - - - - - - . best of all, windscreen wipers attempting to work, (they are not 'on' position, either) agonisingly slowly and won't stop trying, until battery is disconnected. Tried a jump start but seems no power getting through - the faults don't change and the dashboard display is weak and intermittent. I'll almost be glad if it's just a new battery needed but I don't have a tester or such-like. Any ideas gratefully received. Cheers and Happy New Year. Has been perfect up until the cold snap, btw

Hi

If a jump won't work, try charging the battery before jumping again.

You may need to leave the donor engine running for quite a while connected to the C3 if you don't have a battery charger, before it does any good. Then you can start the engine. Your battery is probably no good now.

I have also seen faulty jump leads, when they are old, the leads don't pass a good current and the jump fails to do any good.

It all depends on what you have available....
from a battery charger,
different jump leads,
somewhere safe to leave the donor jump vehicle connected for a while.
or maybe easier to just order up and have delivered a new battery - euro car parts can sort that.

When you have the new battery fitted and it works, get the charging system tested asap to save having to buy another battery.

Clarion wrote: ↑Wed Dec 30, 2020 4:26 pm Has been perfect up until the cold snap, btw

Hello Clarion

A cold snap, typically below zero will kill off a weak battery.

As AD said, it may be easier to get a battery delivered.